Bailed from Jail...
The Master - ex-prisoner No. 105 - expresses his heartfelt thanks for the Members' generosity...
Thank you all for your extreme generosity and words of encouragement; and enabling my release from what I thought an unjust accusation made by anonymous individuals...
Dressed in my (rather over-heating) gown, with Chain attached so easily identified, I was found guilty by the Sheriff Neil Redcliffe aka 'The Judge' in a Court at the Old Bailey, of nefarious crimes; including conspiracy to assault and batter 50 champagne bottles the previous evening - and harbouring a hangover - and sent down accordingly with two dozen other miscreants. I noted my Learned Clerk in the benches opposite enthusiastically congratulating the judge for his decision.
We were each attached to a ball & heavy metal chain; dragged on to a vintage Routemaster with a completely unsympathetic conductor - and delivered to the Tower of London; accessing close, but not through, the 'Traitors' Gate' - some relief there!
Taken to the Fusilier Museum where the Constable of the Tower once lived, I expected the Rack and Thumbscrews, only to find 'Officers Quarters' and a bevy of Red Cross Nurses (including the redoubtable Nurse Tibbles (92) who provided us with water in very large bottles, disguised as Pol Roger; (who was Policeman Roger (?))
Must have been something added to the water as it seemed to cheer everyone up.
The usual Mug shots and Finger prints (why did I say usual?) thank goodness for GDPR; and then we were given the choice of meeting a Bail of at least £1000 or languishing on The Green under the remorseless sun, being photographed by hundreds of tourists, without even an ice cream. Everyone else having paid up (some apparently raided their charitable funds - shame; and - hanging at the rear of the chain gang and checking my Virgin Money page every minute - and with the benefit of Gift Aid - I just made the target in time.
Overall the exercise raised nearly £40,000 for the Red Cross (£38,500 by 2 p.m. but money was still coming in) which the Red Cross ladies thought was a record for the day.
In recounting their efforts over the last year - 5 major incidents in London including terrorist attacks & Grenfell - they fully justified the importance of their work, to which you have all made a contribution.
My thanks to everyone who contributed!
David Johnson
Ex Prisoner No 105 (now restored as Master)